While chatting with an old friend, it just occurred to me that a fair number of the blogs I regularly participate in (and two of the three podcasts I listen to) are produced by people living in a part of the country for which I generally hold a fairly derisive, dismissive opinion: The flyover. Prairie Flounder is from the flat, geographically uninteresting part of Colorado, KC Meesha and Logtar are both from Kansas City, Missouri. Fear the Boot is produced in St. Louis. Fell Calls is produced in Colorado, too. Some of these I ran into in rather round-about ways (PF is a relative of Doctor X, Logtar is somebody that comments frequently on my friend Daniel’s blog, KC Meesha comments frequently on Logtar’s blog…)
I really wasn’t going anywhere with this other than to solicit some kind of information about why somebody would actually want to live in such notoriously-uninteresting areas. I know there are some pretty nice cities scattered around there, mostly built up through some kind of reflexive need to huddle together against the oppressive blandness of the surrounding landscape.
Most of my knowledge of the area comes from the massive influx of immigrants (refugees?) California gets from places with strange names like Nebraska or Kansas, where apparently they have this thing they call “real weather” and try to lord it over us native Californians. Real weather, of course, is pony-sized hail, tornadoes, black ice, and plagues of locusts. It’s also where a lot of subsidies go so our kids can get diabetes from high-fructose corn syrup.
I’ve heard people express condolences to me for living in KC before. The truth is after you live here for some time it’s hard to understand why people would subject themselves to places like LA and NYC. It’s not impossible to have a full cultural life here, while not constantly stuck in traffic, looking for a spot to park and paying 4 times as much for a place to live. Many friends ask me to move to NYC and to LA or even Chicago but every time I go, I feel crowded and rushed. The weather here may suck but I am not sure if an occasional tornado is worse than a forest fire, flood or an earthquake that will eventually swallow everything west of St.Adnreas fault, which by then will be de facto part of Mexico anyway. Give me a call when you decide to move here.
I hear a lot about how crazy people are to live in California on account of the wild fires and earthquakes. But every year I turn on the news and there are hurricanes leveling communities in the Southeast and Tornadoes ripping apart houses and killing people throughout the Midwest. The last earthquake of any consequence in California was the Northridge event fourteen years ago. Fourteen. Years. Fifty-seven people died, which is pretty freaky, but that’s less than the number of people that died in tornadoes that year, and far less than the cumulative total since then. How many times must the “finger of God” (as they used to call funnel clouds) have to smite you folks before you get the hint? The wildfires you hear about are basically always hitting the same canyon-dwelling fools near Malibu, and the floods are predictable and by-and-large quite avoidable. We don’t get the kinds of nutty floods you guys get, either.
Yes, Kansas City is by all accounts a nice city (I’ve never heard anyone in a position to know say otherwise), with all the trappings of a proper city. Santa Rosa, where I live, is a tiny little boring town by contrast. But that’s just the town itself. It’s hemmed in by beautiful hills, a laguna, and ag land. A short drive away is the Pacific Ocean, redwood groves, vineyards, the San Francisco Bay, and all manner of points of interest that are inherent to the location. Our weather is either gorgeous or mild. There’s a reason homes cost so much out here; there’s only so much California to go around.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-california-earthquake,0,1323960.story
Yeah, on my 13th birthday we had a 7.1 earthquake. 67 died. Getting two of those in sixty years doesn’t strike me as a terrible trade for how thoroughly-awesome this place is. In a similar timeframe expect somewhere around 5,000 people to kick the bucket to tornadoes.
I find it personally amusing that a person from the Bay Area (near enough) would be attempting to goad us in the Mid West into defending our choice of residence. I think you have it backwards, we should be asking you why you are not in a hurry to leave California.
Better yet, as they say in Missouri ~ “show me”. I was raised in California and spend a lot of time in Santa Rosa, San Francisco, Sacramento, Fairfield, Vallejo, etc… Have you been to Colorado? I am giving you an official invitation to come out to Colorado. You can stay in my home and experience what you are missing in California. Call Jim; come out with him for the 4th of July.
Then you can post with authority on the subject why it sucks in the Mid West.
BTW we also have a massive influx of refugees, most of them escaping the oppressive regulations in California. Like I did in 1999.
~pf
Excellent non-answer, PF. I’ve been to Colorado. The Rockies are lovely. The flat, drab expanse to the East of them is what I’m including in the flyover here.
I certainly offer no defense of the excessive regulations California inflicts on itself. Among the things I have trouble reconciling is the “don’t tread on me” aversion to government intrusion with things like the no-knock home invasions perpetrated by Colorado law enforcement and upheld by Colorado courts. Tolerance of such thuggery doesn’t seem to be in your collective character, but there it is.
Burrowowl you are correct about no-knock raids in Colorado cities being deplorable. Like California and every other state in America we have big city crime and over zealous jack booted thugs busting down doors. A symptom of an illness that starts in the city and grows outward. Pre-emptive strikes, the war on drugs, and legislating morality is kind of off topic and better suited for other posts. My only point is that Colorado and most of the Mid West states are a bit slower to adapt the nanny state mentality that is so pervasive elsewhere. We are still free to be incredibly stupid and dangerous with out committing a crime in the process. For example: helmet laws, fireworks, and other things are still legal. But you can’t buy liquor or a car on Sundays. Go figure.
I will attempt to provide a good faith answer to your query as to why we plain dwellers don’t all scamper to the womb of the big city, east or west. My answer would be the sky. I personally do not enjoy the mountains for the same reason I don’t enjoy the city, because I can’t see the sky. The people who live on the great plains appreciate being able to see for miles around. I get claustrophobic if I can’t see at least 30 miles in every direction. The prairie may be boring to you, but I really enjoy the sublime interaction of wild life on the open plains. I find it much more interesting that the in-your-face entertainment found in cities. That said, I am beginning to think that Colorado is becoming too crowded. I am considering moving to Wyoming where there is room to stretch out.
As for the weather I agree with you. California, particularly Northern California, has wonderful weather, however, I do enjoy having seasons. Our weather may have more flavor but we pay the price in inconvenience and discomfort. In California you manage to miss winter entirely but make up for it by have nearly no spring. I can’t vouch for Missouri. I have lived there for a year and wouldn’t like to repeat the experience, Colorado is about as far east as I care to go.
I enjoy California like I enjoy a visit to Vegas or Disneyland. Its fun and exciting for a while but I wouldn’t want to live there. It’s too expensive, too crowded, and has too many rules, but I often find myself there on vacation.
-pf
There we go. Thanks, PF. Next time the State Assembly does something colossally stupid, I’ll keep the flatlands of Colorado up there in my list of places to claim I’ll relocate to 🙂