There has been a lot of talk recently about possible vice-presidential picks for the likely Democratic nominee for the office of the president of the United States. At some point, Barack Obama has to make his choice. Much of the talk has been focused on notables such as senator Hillary Clinton as a form of bridge-building reconciliation between the two warring tribes that the Democratic party has fractured into during the nominating process. Others have proposed senator John Edwards as a possible pick, citing working-class appeal, a southern appeal, and a general reinforcement and amplification of senator Obama’s core message of change. Other names like Biden and Dodd have been raised as possible bulwarks against accusations of naïvité on foreign policy issues. This is just among the other contenders for the nomination. Kathleen Sebelius is another name I keep hearing, as is Jim Webb. Each have certain regional or topical strengths.

But people don’t vote for the vice president when they show up to the polls in November. The name will be on the ballot, but it’s the top of the ticket that draws the greatest scrutiny and consideration. As an opportunity to help secure the election, the choice of a running-mate has more to do with the news cycle during which it is announced, a minimal bump or hit in the polls after any vice presidential debates, and fundraising. As for the actual duties of the office, the vice president is to inquire daily as to the health of the president, and be available for tiebreaker votes in the Senate.

I just don’t know who would be truly useful for fundraising. Presumably Clinton would be strong in this area, as she has already raised and spent a stupendous amount in pursuing the nomination herself. For amplifying a message of change and a new direction unifying the country and setting aside the divisive politics of the past twenty years, though, I humbly suggest an alternative that may be mentioned frequently as a possibility for John McCain: governor Mike Huckabee.

That’s right, the Arkansas Baptist minister turned cultural-conservative second-place contender for the Republican nomination. Let us consider the upside:

• He has executive office experience as governor. This could help offset potential claims that the ticket lacks leadership experience.
• His public service experience includes working together with a Democratic-controlled state legislature. We know he can function when surrounded by crazy left-wingers.
• His conservative credentials are centered almost entirely around cultural wedge issues. These are the major symptoms of the cancer that Barack Obama claims to be seeking a cure for before it kills our body politic. Inviting him onto the ticket is a major gesture towards spanning a multi-decade political divide.
• His record on the actual operation of government is quite moderate, having implemented government programs and tax policies in a pragmatic manner that makes led many fiscal conservatives to turn their back on him. This man can work with Democrats on their key issues of trade, education, infrastructure, and health care.
• He’s got a band. They’re not that great, really, but they do a passable cover of “Freebird,” and could save the campaign a few shekels on campaign-stop entertainment expenses.
• Dude is seriously charming. Actually listen to him for more than six seconds and you may have diametrically-opposed policy views with him but probably won’t dislike him. Not a lot of people can do that any more.

These are all positives. I also suspect that inviting this specific man to be a running-mate would result in roughly three quarters of the Washington media punditocracy to crap their drawers and run screaming into the woods. Experts that once forecast a Clinton vs. Giuliani main event would likely spend no less than a month huddled up in a fetal position, rocking themselves an sobbing into empty Jack Daniels bottles. Multiple fire and brimstone preachers and vociferous atheists would wander the streets in a muddled daze. Very little could happen for several days that could knock this off the forefront of the political news cycle short of a foreign invasion.

The negatives are all too obvious:

• He is a Republican. This means he is likely to no accept the position, and many Democratic party insiders would get their panties in a bunch over this gesture.
• He has endorsed John McCain. This almost certainly means he would not accept the position at first blush. Senator Obama is a persuasive man. Get the two in a room together and let some magic happen.
• He is strongly against abortion. He does not want Roe vs. Wade overturned, he wants a constitutional amendment. This isn’t really an issue, as it isn’t the purview of the vice president to revise the constitution.
• He joked about somebody pointing a gun at senator Obama. Considering that being his veep would put him a bullet away from the presidency, this would be especially tasteless and probably require him to commit seppuku should something of the sort actually happen.

I don’t think that the negatives outweigh the benefits here. Every right-wing claim that Obama is some kind of radical Islamic Secularist Leftist (if such a worldview is even possible) would ring hollow to even the most credulous audience. An Obama-Huckabee ticket would win in New York and California, in Illinois and Arkansas, in Iowa, Virginia, and the Carolinas. It would beat McCain in most of the South, and force him to fight hard to keep even Utah and Texas on board.

TL;DR: we should let the funny southern guy back into the political limelight.