Upon looking around for some new anime to watch, I have stumbled across something I’ve noticed for a long time but have never written about. The Japanese market lacks the necessary gag reflex, antibodies, lymphatic system, or whatever it is that keeps really bad rock music from floating to the surface. Warning the “exhibit” links below lead to Youtube content with extremely lame music, and are not recommended for the faint of heart.

Exhibit A is Darker than Black‘s opening sequence. I generally skip the opening credits of the first couple episodes of a series because I don’t want to ruin any plot points that may be unduly foreshadowed there. With Darker than Black, it was more a matter of a panic-stricken urge to escape the god-awful angst-laden soundtrack. May there be a special place in hell for the people that peddle whatever the producers of this otherwise-good series were smoking, snorting, or injecting when the decision was made to use this track.

Exhibit B is the opening sequence for Murder Princess. Again, hideously-offensive music nearly prevented me from even finishing what turned out to be a pretty good first episode. Why must they do this?

This is not to say that the Japanese are incapable of rocking. Far from it, counter-examples like Guitar Wolf and Shonen Knife make the decisions of these production companies all the more tragic. Perhaps a licensing system, like that used for automobiles or handguns, could be used for electric guitars. This could help ensure that only Japanese that demonstrate an ability to truly embrace the rock can purchase or use such instruments in public.