That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Bastard Sword” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.
Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:
(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork
(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork
Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don’t you think?
You seriously didn’t buy a katana did you? And if you did, how come you’re not out working for 500 Ryu per kill? Sheesh. You’ve got the cub! Giterdone!!!
500 Ryo? That may have been a reasonable price back in Ogami-dono’s time, but you gotta take inflation into account. I don’t work for less than 825. And I can totally cut slabs of steel with that sword, man. Katanas are awesome!
My martial arts have only taught me the use of the nunchaku… but I would truly love being a katana user, however… you claim to be a pirate… as if.
Katanas, mighty though they may be, cannot pierce the unassailable manliness of a pirate. It’s a proven scientific fact.
(I use martial arts as a crude analogy to homosexual anal sex.)
My goodness, Logtar! Your pen0r has over 16 million folds?
Just saw a great variant on this:
That’s it. I’m sick of all this Kukri being left out of 4th Edition bullshit that’s going on in the 4th Edition system right now. Kukri deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine kukri in Nepal for 2,400,000 rupee (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my kukri.
Nepalese smiths spend years working on a single kukri and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Kukri are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a kukri can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a kukri could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Nepal? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Gurkha and their kukris of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the kukris first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Kukris are simply the best Knife that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the 4th Edition system. Here Sais the stat block I propose for Kukri:
(One-Handed Superior Weapon)
1d12 Damage
19-20 High Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Superior
Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Kukri’s in real life, don’t you think?
Another excellent variation:
Oy, ya ignorant gitz. I’s sick of all dis “puny dakka” wot been goin’ on in me WAAAGH right now. Shootaz is more dakka den dat. Gobs more dakka.
If some git don’t think I know what I’m talking about, I’ll crump ‘im good. I got me a Shoota from a Mekboy fer loadz uv teef (an’ I mean loadz) and ‘ave been blasty wid it for a real long time now. I can even crump a Squiggoth wiv it.
Bad Moon Mekboyz spend minnitz workin’ on just one Shoota an dey put up to a million gubbinz on it to produce the finest Shootas known to da orkz.
Shootaz is lots more shooty than ‘umie gunz and lots more ‘ard, too. Anything a ‘umie can shoot, a boy with a Shoota can shoot betta. I’s bettin’ all my teef that a Shoota could take down a Titan wit’ no problem.
Wanna know why dem Beaky Boyz can’t evah beat Orks in battle? Dat’s right, cuz dey’s scared of Shootaz. Even at Armor-geddum, da ‘umies shot da boyz wiv Shootas first. Dat’s coz Shootaz ‘ave loads uv dakka and dey know it.
So wot, you sez? I’ll tell you wot, ya stupid git. Shootas is da most dakka dere evah was, an’ we need real wunz, not dese puny fings. ‘ere’z wot dey need:
More Dakka Iron Gobz More Dakka Dakka Spikez Fixa Grot Red paint Stikkbomb Chucka Shootier Blasta More Dakka Bolt-on Burna Bolt-on Rokkit Launcha Turbo Boosta Big Grabba Bolt-on Big Shoota More Dakka Ammo Squig WAAAGH Beer WAAAAAAGH
Now dat’s wot I call a Shoota.
Da short uv it is, Shootaz need more dakka.