Category Archives: Pedantry

My Favorite Copypasta

Mmm… Delicious copypasta

That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Bastard Sword” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)

1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)

2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don’t you think?

Meatbread

Meatbread

Behold, gentlemen: the pinnacle of culinary art!

  • 1 pkg frozen bread dough (3 per pack)
  • 1 lb extra lean ground beef
  • 1 roll sausage (hot or mild)
  • One 16 oz pkg. smoked sausage (hot or mild)
  • 8 oz grated Mozzarella cheese
  • 8 oz grated Cheddar cheese
  • 1 lb chopped Velveeta cheese
  • One 3 oz jar stuffed olives, chopped
  • One 4 oz can of mushrooms
  • Small bunch onion tops, chopped
  • Small bunch parsley, chopped
  • 1 cup chopped onion
  • 1/2 cup chopped bell pepper
  • 2 stalks celery, chopped
  • 3 tbs margarine

Cook ground beef until it is very brown, then drain. Sauté bell peppers, onions, celery, onion tops and parsley. Add to ground meat. Stir in half of the chopped Velveeta cheese and set aside.

Cut roll sausage in slices, brown, and put aside. Let cool and crumble. Roll out all three loaves onto floured surface. Spread melted margarine over dough.

Divide all ingredients into three parts and layer as follows:

  • ground meat mixture
  • roll sausage
  • smoked sausage
  • olives
  • mushrooms
  • Cheddar cheese
  • Mozzarella cheese
  • Velveeta cheese

Bring bread over, folding ends first. Bake 30-35 minutes if ready to bake. If not, bake at 350F for 10 minutes or until light brown, then freeze. Defrost. Bake another 20-25 minutes or until brown.