To everybody who told me that Irving Lewis “Scooter” Libby may actually have to sweat it out in a jail cell until getting a last-day pardon from George W. Bush: neener neener neener. How horribly naive. I humbly suggest that a constitutional amendment may be appropriate, removing the Article II Reprieves and Pardons power. When was the last time a president used this for anything other than rewarding cronies or to cover his own criminal behavior?

Scooter Skates
Full text of Bush statement
Bush Frees ‘Scooter’ Libby

*quick edit to replace scary Dick Cheney image.

Clinton, Edwards, Giuliani, McCain, Obama, Romney. These are the names we can reasonably expect to remain on the presidential ballot in November of 2008. This is what political pundits tell us on television, on the radio, in magazines and in newspapers. This is what we’re told with sixteen months left before we asked as citizens to select our next chief executive. Well, phooey. Personally I like the folks that seem doomed to be remembered as also-rans.
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I didn’t have the chance to watch last night’s Republican presidential debate on CNN, as I have a job, but was able to catch up with it today. Two quotes caught my attention. One of them, courtesy of Mitt Romney, was seized upon by Keith Olbermann and Jon Stewart: “Well, the question is kind of a non sequitur, if you will. And what I mean by that — or a null set — and that is that if you’re saying…” Well, Mr. Romney, that isn’t what a non sequitur is. Maybe he misspoke, but no, he mis-uses the phrase again when challenged for dodging the question: “Well, I answered the question by saying it’s a non sequitur.”

For those of you keeping score at home, “non sequitur” literally means “does not follow.”

Speaking of the literal meanings of things, another quote caught my ear, this time from Mike Huckabee: “And the fact is, they know that if they have excessive taxation and a tax system that literally steps on their head…” Oh my. Our tax system literally steps on our heads? Literally? I was unaware that the tax system had feet, or was capable of stepping on anything.

Clearly the No Child Left Behind program was too late to save these unfortunate souls. People shouldn’t be permitted to throw around high-falutin’ words when they don’t know what they mean. Not without being called on it.

Transcript | Non Sequitur | Literal