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Corporate Personhood

Oh say can you see?

With a case before the United States Supreme Court regarding the rights of corporations as persons (Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission), and with a lot of hyperbole coming from instant experts on the subject, I figured it would be nice to brainstorm some repercussions. Not likely repercussions, but conceivable repercussions for the Supreme Court finding that the 14th amendment applies to entities like Exxon, Starbucks, or Google.

I’ll warm up with some things I’ve heard folks like Thom Hartmann and Randi Rhodes put forward:

  • With equal protection under the law and money being a form of speech (Buckley v. Valeo), companies will be able to buy political candidates on an unprecedented scale through massive media purchases and such, tipping the scales on the election process.
  • Under the second amendment to the constitution, corporations would have the right to bear arms. Corporate armies come immediately to mind, and certain self-defense principles start getting a little scary.
  • In some jurisdictions corporations could run for elected office. Mayor General Electric?

Depending on where you are in you daily medicinal regimen, the above theories can sound pretty reasonable, scary, or ridiculous. Let’s carry on with some more ramifications:

  • Under the 13th amendment, people cannot be held as property, as slaves. This would make it illegal to be a shareholder in a corporation or compel it to any particular action. This would also prevent one corporation from purchasing or selling another.
  • Corporations are generally thought, as legal constructs, to be indistinguishable from their owners (particularly if a single natural person bears a majority of shares). In regards to elections, this means that any corporation at least partly owned by foreign persons (natural or otherwise) would be subject to regulations regarding foreign interests interfering in our political processes. No more contributions or political ads from any transnational or widely-traded corporation.
  • Corporations would be subject to personal income tax (many at the top bracket)
  • Corporations could be compelled to purchase health insurance under some variants of the current health care reform bills.
  • Corporations could be jailed or even put to death for various criminal acts. I’m not sure how one would administer a lethal injection to a legal entity, but that’s Texas to figure out.
  • In some states, where marriage is defined as a civil union between two consenting persons, perhaps companies could get married. Could this lead to issues with anti-poligamy laws in the case of conglomerates?
  • Corporate board members that run their companies into the ground could be brought up on homicide charges.

I’m certain there are more.

Where does the power come from?

A lot of people are going to vote in ten days. Many already have, either at early-voting precincts or by absentee ballot. Some people aren’t going to. Many because they do not consider their choices appealing enough. Some because they do not feel their votes will account for much. Some unknown number will, however, show up to the polls and not actually vote. Vote suppression, caging, registration purges, broken polling equipment, and uncounted provisional ballots may yet steal the franchise of thousands of citizens this year, just like in 2004. This is essentially the last remaining path to victory for the John McCain campaign, which is trying desperately to put up a fight in Pennsylvania, Colorado, and Virginia.

If they do it again, if Ohio voters in predominantly minority and urban areas have to queue up for hours in the rain, if thousands of registered voters are turned away at the polls due to a typo in some database, if contested voters are forced to use provisional ballots in Colorado, Indiana, and Florida that will then be re-contested after the voter has left, and the election is stolen, what happens next? Some pretty broad-scale election fraud is already under way, so what do we do about it?

Keep an eye on the news November 4th. Election fraud is a hard story for the nightly news to cover, as it involved actually getting reporters out on the streets to interview poll workers, voters, and election officials. It takes more than two seconds to explain what “caging” means, so the producers on the 24-hour news networks are reluctant to tie up air time with it.

Get your buddies together and plan yourself a party. A celebration of freedom, democracy, and the rule of the people. Don’t have it at your house, have it at your town square. Have it on the lawn in front of your city hall. Bake some pies, bring some drinks. Invite everybody. Plan on having a grand old time, like 4th of July on the 5th of November. See if you can get the local campaign HQ of your presidential candidate of choice in on the act. Make up lemonade for their campaign volunteers and have a big shindig. If things go sour on election day, you may be able to have a few hundred people already set to hit the streets.

tl;dr – the power to govern comes from the consent of the people, even by way of apathy. Don’t give it and they don’t have it.

Cthulhu

They're Esoteric and Orderly

It’s an election year, so normally any musings on my part regarding the Mighty Cthulhu would center around his election to the presidency of the United States. But this time we’ve got another Great Old One from the trackless times undreamt of beneath the sea, so instead my thoughts wander to Hollywood. You see, later this month there’s a movie coming out named Cthulhu.

I had heard some time ago that there was to be a Call of Cthulhu remake featuring Tori Spelling. I thought that was a bit amusing, going from Beverly Hills 90210 to Lovecraftian horror. Figured I’d give it a shot for pure kitsch. Probably catch the matinee and laugh about it with Chunkbot or Daniel. Why not? It’ll have a big CG sea monster, crazy bayou cultists, it’d be a hoot.

Then I saw the trailer. Oh my. The Apple site describes it as “Adapted from a story by H.P. Lovecraft.” Well. Really, now? Are you sure it wasn’t adapted from 99% of the half-baked Chaosium RPG plots that have sprung up in basements and rec rooms over the past twenty years, a hodgepodge of creepy tales of Deep Ones and the Esoteric order of Dagon, with a sprinkling of “daddy never understood me” family angst. A manhole cover with a tentacled form etched onto it? Really? It’s set in coastal Oregon?

Maybe I’ve just grown too used to indie interpretations of actual Lovecraft stories, but this may take a few weeks to get my head around.

Hoo, boy.