To Play

My three-year-old son love airplanes. He also loves trains, but that’s beside the point. This isn’t a post about my son, it’s a post about my son’s new toy airplane. It was packaged in an open-face box with a prominent “try me!” label that encouraged shoppers to interact with the cockpit/button, which makes the propeller spin and a speaker to make a crude approximation of engine noises.

When we got out of the store I tore into the cardboard, at the boy’s insistence, and handed him his new biplane. In the process of disentangling the plane from its tie-downs, some paper fell to the pavement. Didn’t want to be a litterbug, so I picked them up. One was a warranty of some sort that I dismissed out of hand. The other was instructions. This is where I figured it would tell me that I needed a screwdriver to access the batteries, and hoped there might be a mute switch of some sort.

Indeed, it laid out how to unscrew a panel to replace some button batteries, and there is no mute button aside from removing said batteries. But lo! There were additional instructions. Behold, gentle reader! How to play with a toy plane:

How to play with a toy plane

Thank God the folks at Mattel thought to explain the process.

Constitutional Convention

Governer Schwarzenegger

Something I’ve been hearing recently that used to just never come up in polite conversation is a constitutional convention to overhaul California’s founding legal document. The Golden State’s constitution has been so severely modified over the 130 or so years since its last overhaul that it requires a search engine to consume the darned thing.

CALIFORNIA CONSTITUTION
ARTICLE 18 AMENDING AND REVISING THE CONSTITUTION

SEC. 4. A proposed amendment or revision shall be submitted to the
electors and if approved by a majority of votes thereon takes effect
the day after the election unless the measure provides otherwise. If
provisions of 2 or more measures approved at the same election
conflict, those of the measure receiving the highest affirmative vote
shall prevail.

This means that 50% plus one voters during a primary election (when very few people show up to the polls) can trump the Governor, Assembly, Senate, and State Supreme Court. This is all very democratic, of course, but also leaves a nasty situation when a poorly-conceived proposition goes through that seemed like a good idea at the time. Compare this process to that used for the United States Constitution, which sets a much higher bar, and has only resulted in a couple of totally boneheaded revisions.

Our legislators complain that their hands are tied by too many spending formulae, leaving only a handful of big-ticket items in the budget to fiddle with. A couple of examples of government reveue sources that are strictly limited in their reallocation off the top of my head:

  • Property taxes
  • Tobacco taxes
  • Vehicle licensing fees
  • Gasoline taxes
  • Lottery revenue

I propose that we cut them loose. Drop the restrictions on what kinds of government revenue can be put to what purposes and let our legislators legislate. If they do poorly, their challengers in the next election have a stronger argument that we should kick the bums out.

Since we can’t count on the critters in Sacramento to call for a constitutional convention on a 2/3rds vote as currently required, we introduce a ballot proposition to introduce a provision allowing for constitutional convention by popular referrendum. Put said popular refferendum on the same ballot as a separate measure and let the ad war begin!

Who’s with me?

Observations about the DC Wastelands

Crawling with supermutants

Finally started playing Fallout 3. I’ve been a fan of the series since stopping by by buddy Scott’s place years ago and playing Wastelands with him. A couple thoughts on the subject:

  • It’s crawling with supermutants. What the hell?
  • Animating the human face is something the Havok engine just doesn’t handle very well. I’m under the distinct impression that these people’s skin doesn’t fit over their heads properly.
  • People sure are talkative in the post-apocalypse. They just love to drone on and on about every little subject. Must be lonely or something.
  • I don’t remember radscorpions being so tough. I seem to recall beating the snot out of one with my bare hands early in Fallout and schooling several with a spear in Fallout 2. In Fallout 3 a chinese assault rifle barely puts a dent in one.
  • God damn landmines. God damn them.

I grow fatigued

Ricardo Montalban died today. We all remember him as Star Trek‘s Khan, Fantasy Island‘s Mr. Roarke, and as just a generally-awesome walk-on in all manner of movies and television shows. He introduced me to the concept of “fine Corinthian leather” as well as a string of other distinctive quotables.

Terra

terra_fight

I must admit that it’s been over a decade since I’ve followed the inter-title continuity of western comic books. I couldn’t tell you which titles were involved in the Marvel Civil War, or give you a cogent description of what DC’s Countdown was about. So I don’t really know who Terra is. Or was. Apparently she had something to do with the Teen Titans. I inferred this while reading the four-shot series Terra.

Terra follows a young newcomer to the superhero scene of the DC continuity. She has been very busy recently, popping up from the Earth to save the day from all manner of subterrannean threats, saving coal miners, staunching rogue lava flows, et cetera. It’s all very heroic, and the behavior of the new heroine is markedly naive.

This series does something that I had grown alien back in the late 1980’s and 90’s when I was regularly following the convoluted plot conceits of superhumans-in-tights: it doesn’t really explain things. I don’t know who the first or second Terra were. I don’t know what their powers were, who they associated themselves with, what perils the faced, overcame, or were defeated by. I have no idea how powerful they were on a scale of The Question to Superman. Terra doesn’t bother telling me. It’s important that there were two previous metahumans named Terra that had similar powers to this title’s protagonist. That’s all I needed to know, and the writers were kind enough to leave it at that. If I hadn’t known who Hawkman or Geoforce were, it wouldn’t have mattered and they didn’t tell me. Thank you, Gray and Palmiotti, for keeping the continuity in your pants.

The art, by Amanda Connor, is interesting. Stylized with a fair amount of detail but leavin enough room for the colorist to get some detail in, she does a great job conveying motion, keeping it easy to follow from frame to frame in a way that many artists often fail to. The faces, however, showed some inconsistency that was a little disappointing. All four covers were great, but Connor falls into the trap of defining a character by a few overt features (costume, hair color & style), and lets things blur from there. In some scenes featuring Power Girl, I was certain that a change in coloring work would have rendered the two superheronies indistinguishable.

Terra

Overall, I found Terra to be a refreshing glimpse into the DC Universe. It didn’t smack me about the face and neck with seventy years of back-story. It told a story from beginning to end, showed character growth (terribly rare in superhero comics), and ended appropriately. The artwork was solid if not perfect, and is certainly worth picking up either individually or as its inevitable TPB.

RubyQuest

Ruby with Junkzooka

Ruby is a rabbit. She is trapped, and confronted with a series of puzzle-like challenges. Back in December, somebody calling himself “Weaver” started up a choose-your-own-adventure thread on 4chan‘s /tg/ board wherein the imageboard participants could suggest the little rabbit’s course of inquiry and action.

The first wave of puzzle challenges are resolved much as you would expect from a typical “you are stuck in a closet” point-and-click flash puzzle, but as it progresses we are exposed to the horrible imagination of Weaver, and Ruby is subjected to increasingly creepy or even horrifying situations. As one participant remarked: “Shit just got DOUBLE LOVECRAFTIAN.” By the time the second session of the Ruby story is under way, there is a seriously paranoid air to things, as shown to us through a rolling archive of message-board posts, with anonymous participants shouting each other down in exaggerated panic as to which button should be pushed next, which items should be examined in what order, and whether or not Ruby’s feminine physique is up to a particular task.

If you ever played games like Survival in New York City or the old Manhunter game by Sierra, I cannot recommend this game strongly enough. Go though the archives and agonize over the stupidity of the other players, revel in their genius, and be horribly horribly frustrated by the recommendations Weaver goes with. Also recommended if you like zombies, rabbits, or very crudely-drawn puzzles.

Looking Forward

regrets

Lots of people in various media, be it print, radio, television, or online, have seen very reflective lately. New Year’s is a good time to look back and take stock, to consider the good and bad choices we’ve made, the good and bad things that have happened to us, regrets and pleasant surprises. That’s just not me.

Rather than look back on December 31st, I prefer to look forward on January 1st. Five things I look forward to (with anticipation, dread, or both) for 2009:

  • My second kid. My lovely wife is expecting our second son in late March. So far all is looking good regarding the health of the child, but there’s nothing quite like a pregnancy to ramp up all the anticipation and anxiety of the human soul.
  • A new president. I was never happy with our current one, didn’t vote for him, but he managed to do something that Bill Clinton and Al Gore Jr. couldn’t pull off: he got me to vote for a Democrat on the top of the ticket. I suspect that Barack Obama will be much more reasonable than the right-wingers fear and the left-wingers hope. Here’s to Mike Malloy‘s feelings of “anticipointment” being fulfilled.
  • An interesting economic situation. I don’t pretend to know with any precision what the stock market, job market, or the grocery market are going to do in the next twelve months. Happily I don’t anticipate drawing down from my modest investment portfolio in the near future, and the deflation of the housing market doesn’t matter to me as I don’t intend to sell any time soon. I may buy up some index funds if the Dow dips below 8,000 again and I have a little cash, but I expect to sit this whirlwind out.
  • Lots of changes at work. My employer is going through a transformation of sorts at the moment, as we brace for the inevitable consequences of regulatory changes that have been a long time in coming, and as the technologies and customer expectations keep shifting on us.
  • Seeing what whacky hijinks Daniel will get himself into next. I swear, the world seems intent on ambushing that guy sometimes.

More Disruptive Character Names

Total Badass

It’s been too long, but more horrible character names have come to my attention, so I must pass them along. Today’s list is aiming for “ridiculously masculine” in some way or another.

  • Manpower von Thunderjunk
  • Diego Brando
  • Baron Praxus
  • Longrod Von Hugendong
  • Ezra “Thunderbolt” McClintock
  • Heironymous Imperiol
  • Max Steel
  • Inigo Montoya
  • Butch Deadlift
  • Thick McRunfast
  • Rex Gatling
  • Blast Hardcheese
  • Axeface McBeardfist
  • Woodcock van Treeslayer
  • Dr. Grimbeard Ironcock, Ph.D
  • Barrel Locstoc
  • Brick Hardmeat
  • Fighter McWarrior
  • Lance Manthrob
  • Chad McSexxington
  • Corporal Studly
  • Max Fightmaster
  • Rockhard Morningwood
  • Chuck Steak
  • Trent Asunder

As always, additional suggestions are always welcome. Clearly, I just can’t wait for my kid to be in grade-school.

Merry Christmas

Crossing the Delaware

So hey, merry Christmas. Kindly refrain from bludgeoning people with the phrase. It’s well-wishing, not cultural warfare, folks. Have an awesome day, but behave yourselves.

All the cool kids are doing it

Chalkrage

So yeah, I actually fired up a Twitter account a few weeks back. Most times that I have anything to say I’m likely to get a head of steam going, but the small handful of times I’ve bothered to update, it has failed. In all but two cases. Wow. Micro-blogging with micro-reliability.

Anyhow, chalk can induce NERDRAGE. That’s really all I was looking to broadcast tonight.