Burrowowl

Last week I finally ran a FATE game. Since I was introduced to the notion of FATE over on the Podthralls IK RPG discussion forum a while back, I’ve been intrigued by its core character-creation and conflict-resolution mechanisms. When the Spirit of the Century book was released, I got a chance to see FATE in a focused, genre-specific application and liked it even more. My gears started spinning in an attempt to cram my favorite campaign setting, the Iron Kingdoms, over to the FATE game system. But I’d never actually played the game. This lead to several catches in my master plan.

So it was that when my regular playgroup, which has been playing Serenity lately with Dan as our GM, anticipated a disruption in the number of people that could attend, I figured I’d throw my hat temporarily into the ring to run a quick SotC adventure. I posted a couple of half-completed seed characters online for them to take a look at and choose from, and whipped up a rather simple 1920′s adventure that had an element of high society hobnobbing, globe-trotting, a couple exotic locations, and a plot twist.

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That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Bastard Sword” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)

1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)

2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don’t you think?

Be very afraid. That is all.

Behold, gentlemen: the pinnacle of culinary art!

• 1 pkg frozen bread dough (3 per pack)
• 1 lb extra lean ground beef
• 1 roll sausage (hot or mild)
• One 16 oz pkg. smoked sausage (hot or mild)
• 8 oz grated Mozzarella cheese
• 8 oz grated Cheddar cheese
• 1 lb chopped Velveeta cheese
• One 3 oz jar stuffed olives, chopped
• One 4 oz can of mushrooms
• Small bunch onion tops, chopped
• Small bunch parsley, chopped
• 1 cup chopped onion
• 1/2 cup chopped bell pepper
• 2 stalks celery, chopped
• 3 tbs margarine

Cook ground beef until it is very brown, then drain. Sauté bell peppers, onions, celery, onion tops and parsley. Add to ground meat. Stir in half of the chopped Velveeta cheese and set aside.

Cut roll sausage in slices, brown, and put aside. Let cool and crumble. Roll out all three loaves onto floured surface. Spread melted margarine over dough.

Divide all ingredients into three parts and layer as follows:

• ground meat mixture
• roll sausage
• smoked sausage
• olives
• mushrooms
• Cheddar cheese
• Mozzarella cheese
• Velveeta cheese

Bring bread over, folding ends first. Bake 30-35 minutes if ready to bake. If not, bake at 350F for 10 minutes or until light brown, then freeze. Defrost. Bake another 20-25 minutes or until brown.

Why is it that the national front-runners aren’t winning post-debate polls, but scant days later the actual winners are barely on the radar any more? Last night, we once again saw Ron Paul, a paleo-conservative amongst neo-cons, trounce the other Republican candidates, with Governor Mike Huckabee polling in second place amongst debate viewers. I predict that national polls this weekend will still show Huckabee polling in the single digits nationally and Ron Paul somewhere below 5% with likely primary voters.

How does a candidate get 33% of the post-debate vote and then lose 90% of it by week’s end? Because most news outlets have already invested in the candidates of their choice. Debate coverage on CNN and MSNBC has been almost entirely about their anointed front-runners, Giuliani, McCain, and Romney. Even though he didn’t participate in the debate, Fred Thompson is receiving more press coverage today than Paul or Huckabee.

The result of this is that on a national basis (by which I mean outside of Iowa and New Hampshire), most Republicans just don’t know anything about Tom Tancredo, Duncan Hunter, Mike Huckabee, or Ron Paul. When receiving a cold call from Gallup or Zogby, why say you intend to vote for somebody whose name you barely know? They recognize Giuliani from the September 11, 2001 attacks, many remember John McCain from his 2000 run, Mitt Romney has received a ton of press because he’s tan, Mormon, and wealthy, and Fred Thompson is on television almost 24 hours a day on Law & Order. I strongly suspect that these four candidates are front-runners based almost solely upon their name recognition, as opposed to any actual qualifications or policy positions. People that have been watching the candidates perform side-by-side are in a better position to make an informed decision.

That decision has been pretty clear. If you’re for cutting taxes and smaller government, anybody in the field will suit those needs. If you’re for “ending the war with honor,” it looks like Mike Huckabee and John McCain made a strong showing. If you’re for ending the war promptly, Paul is your only bet. It looks like the Republican vote is pretty well split on that, with McCain and Huckabee splitting 33% of respondents and Paul standing alone with another 33%. The internally-conflicted pro-choice pro-gun-control pro-horrible-personal-life segment of the Republican party has split between Romney and Giuliani, with a small minority choosing Tancredo, Hunter, or Brownback.

I want to see more Huckabee and Paul coverage. Maybe they aren’t as exciting as Mitt Romney’s George Harrison tan, John McCain’s verbal gaffes, Fred Thompson’s eloquent assistant DAs, or Giuliani’s mountain of political baggage, but you aren’t going to catch any of those guys performing Freebird, are you?