Burrowowl

It’s been too long, but more horrible character names have come to my attention, so I must pass them along. Today’s list is aiming for “ridiculously masculine” in some way or another.

• Manpower von Thunderjunk
• Diego Brando
• Baron Praxus
• Longrod Von Hugendong
• Ezra “Thunderbolt” McClintock
• Heironymous Imperiol
• Max Steel
• Inigo Montoya
• Butch Deadlift
• Thick McRunfast
• Rex Gatling
• Blast Hardcheese
• Axeface McBeardfist
• Woodcock van Treeslayer
• Dr. Grimbeard Ironcock, Ph.D
• Barrel Locstoc
• Brick Hardmeat
• Fighter McWarrior
• Lance Manthrob
• Chad McSexxington
• Corporal Studly
• Max Fightmaster
• Rockhard Morningwood
• Chuck Steak
• Trent Asunder

As always, additional suggestions are always welcome. Clearly, I just can’t wait for my kid to be in grade-school.

So hey, merry Christmas. Kindly refrain from bludgeoning people with the phrase. It’s well-wishing, not cultural warfare, folks. Have an awesome day, but behave yourselves.

So yeah, I actually fired up a Twitter account a few weeks back. Most times that I have anything to say I’m likely to get a head of steam going, but the small handful of times I’ve bothered to update, it has failed. In all but two cases. Wow. Micro-blogging with micro-reliability.

Anyhow, chalk can induce NERDRAGE. That’s really all I was looking to broadcast tonight.

Tuco “the Rat” Ramirez was a busy guy.

Property Crimes

• armed robbery of citizens, state banks, and post offices
• arson in a state prison
• cattle rustling
• counterfeiting and passing counterfeit money
• crimes against places of high authority include burning down the courthouse and sheriff’s office in Sonora
• extortion
• highway robbery
• horse thievery
• illegal postal pick up
• unlawfully drawing salary and living allowances from the Union Army
• receiving stolen goods
• robbery
• robbing an unknown number of post offices
• selling stolen goods
• supplying Indians with firearms
• theft of sacred objects
• using marked cards and loaded dice
• derailing a train in order to rob the passengers

Violent Crimes

• murder
• kidnapping
• assaulting a Justice of the Peace
• raping a virgin of the white race
• statutory rape of a minor of the black race
• intention of selling fugitive slaves

Crimes against civil order

• bigamy
• deserting his wife and children
• hired himself out as guide on a wagon train, after receiving his payment in advance, he deserted the wagon train in the hunting grounds of the Sioux Indians
• inciting prostitution
• misrepresenting himself as a Mexican general
• perjury
• promoting prostitution

Sources follow.
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