For a while now it’s been common knowledge on The Internets that every time Drew Remenda or Randy Hahn say the word “schnide” during coverage of a San Jose Sharks game, everybody watching the game was obliged to drink. Without getting too caught up in any particular game performance trend at the moment, what are our other drinking game rules?

I propose the following humble ruleset. Drink whenever:

• Drew or Randy say “schnide.”
• Somebody tries to take a run at Douglas Murray and bounces comically onto his own ass.
• Jay Leach tries to pick a fight with somebody for standing near the Sharks goaltender.
• Anybody in a chatroom or forum thread brings up “playoff mode” (good only once per game period).
• Joe Thornton makes an unbelievably dirty play and gets away with it
• Evgeni Nabokov buys his teammates an extra thirty seconds talking to a ref after an icing call.

Suggestions are welcome.