Burrowowl

It’s an election year, so normally any musings on my part regarding the Mighty Cthulhu would center around his election to the presidency of the United States. But this time we’ve got another Great Old One from the trackless times undreamt of beneath the sea, so instead my thoughts wander to Hollywood. You see, later this month there’s a movie coming out named Cthulhu.

I had heard some time ago that there was to be a Call of Cthulhu remake featuring Tori Spelling. I thought that was a bit amusing, going from Beverly Hills 90210 to Lovecraftian horror. Figured I’d give it a shot for pure kitsch. Probably catch the matinee and laugh about it with Chunkbot or Daniel. Why not? It’ll have a big CG sea monster, crazy bayou cultists, it’d be a hoot.

Then I saw the trailer. Oh my. The Apple site describes it as “Adapted from a story by H.P. Lovecraft.” Well. Really, now? Are you sure it wasn’t adapted from 99% of the half-baked Chaosium RPG plots that have sprung up in basements and rec rooms over the past twenty years, a hodgepodge of creepy tales of Deep Ones and the Esoteric order of Dagon, with a sprinkling of “daddy never understood me” family angst. A manhole cover with a tentacled form etched onto it? Really? It’s set in coastal Oregon?

Maybe I’ve just grown too used to indie interpretations of actual Lovecraft stories, but this may take a few weeks to get my head around.

Hoo, boy.

No, really. It’s got water in it, and it’s navigable. By kayak, sure, but navigable nonetheless. I joke with my wife sometimes about them needing a TMDL for shopping carts, and about the absurdity of having one of our nation’s biggest population centers in a desert, but I just don’t like it when a government entity like the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers messes something like this up. It may not be common knowledge that there’s something in the L.A. River other than the bitter tears of crushed dreams and leaked motor oil, but facts are facts.

Big hat-tip to LAist.com (also source of photo, obviously).

Austin Modine wrote today, over at The Register, about the selling of a new moon mission. Particularly a mission to establish what amounts to a colony on the moon, a permanent settlement. The underlying question is, simply put: why the Moon?

• It’s there. No, really. I flatly reject the notion that we have better things to spend our time and money on than space exploration; we waste tons of money on utter crap.
• It’s close. This is rather important, as we’re talking about long-term manned habitation of a hostile environment. If something goes wrong, we can get there a lot faster than if we skip ahead to Mars or one of the gas giants’ moons.
• It’s visible. Everybody can look up and see it, as opposed to the occasionally-visible Mars or the effectively invisible moons of Jupiter and Saturn, the other potential settlement targets. Once established, every man woman and child on Earth can look up and point to our new achievement: a permanent off-world settlement. Extra points if its lights are visible during the new moon.

There’s some boldly-going to do, folks. Hop to it.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

This, the fourth amendment to the constitution of the United States of America, was formally proposed on September 25, 1789 as part of a package of enumerated rights and restrictions on the federal government’s powers that smoothed over a number of concerns that the various states had regarding the increased powers being delegated to the central government. Without these limitations, there was great concern that the federal government might inexorably grow into a tyranny of one form or another. It was ratified on December 15, 1791 after a great deal of debate, along with nine others that were felt to be similarly important.

Today the U.S. House of Representatives passed a bill, H.R. 6304, which will effectively grant immunity to large corporations that actively aided the government in flagrantly violating this fundamental underlying principle of our legal system. The House of Representative is now officially in collusion with the U.S. Senate in turning not only turning a blind eye to the transgressions of the executive branch (as has been customary for decades), but in actively assisting in those transgressions by promising protection from legal repercussions to the direct agents of said transgressions.

Earlier this year I was disappointed when the U.S. Senate pushed a similar measure through over Chris Dodd’s attempt to filibuster, and heartened when it was soundly blocked by the House of Representatives. What changed here? Presumably when H.R. 6304 goes to the Senate, the same dance will be repeated, with the same results (cloture and passage over Dodd’s objections), and the President will sign it. What recourse does this leave?

By my count, we’ve got the following left:

1. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
2. A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
3. No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
4. The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
5. No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.
6. In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.
7. In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.
8. Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
9. The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
10. The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

One out of ten isn’t so bad, is it? Or should I straighten out my guest room for company?

Full text of H.R. 6304 (PDF)
EFF Analysis of the bill (PDF)
The yeas and nays

*edit: Dive Into Mark posted a great, concise quote regarding the types of recourse available to the people.

Back when I first mentioned the Order of the Stick here, I lamented that far too many of the truly funny comic strips online have kicked the bucket or degenerated into something completely devoid of entertainment value.

Add to the list Chainmail Bikini. It never strayed from its core concept, following a group of RPG nerds fumbling through a grab-bag of hurdles both within the game and at the table. Mostly at the table. As the panels jumped back and forth between the game setting and the gaming table, the bad mix of player preferences and poor DM management of the situation created all manner of amusing conflict. The illustration was excellent, conveying the tone of both settings with deceptive ease. The artwork was unlike the American comic book or comic strip art I see all the time, nor was it some slavish weeaboo attempt at Japanese comic art.

Order of the Stick slogs on at an irregular rate, and Penny Arcade will probably always be good. Real Life Comics rounds out my final three now, which used to tickle a couple of geek niche points but now is mostly just good for poking fun at Texas and our Californian preconceptions about that odd, odd place.