None of the other party members know what the Nutburger’s problem is. He’s chosen an utterly worthless weapon in munchkin terms, and seems utterly delighted by its ineffectuality as he faithfully leaps into the fray with his outmatched weapon of choice.

the Nutburger

Let’s face it: not all weapons in D&D were created equal. That’s why people use Longswords. They do 1d8 damage, threaten on a 19 or 20, and do double damage on a crit. A Whip, on the other hand, dows 1d2 subdual damage, threatens only on a 20 for double damage on a crit, and through a reach weapon with a 10 foot range, it is treated as a ranged weapon for the purposes of attacks of opportunity.

Other weapons such as the Light Mace and Flail qualify for the “well I suppose it’s ok for a Priest” category of weapons that are midly less efficient than our friend the Longsword.

Beware the False mediocre-weapon, however. A Scimitar does 1d6 damage, less than the Longsword to be sure, but it threatens on an 18, 19, or 20, for double damage on a crit. Look at those critical threats before writing off a weapon. Similarly, many martial weapons that only threaten on a natural 20 do 3 or even 4 times normal damage on a critical strike.

The proper Nutburger doesn’t seek a hidden gem like a Scimitar or Longspear. No, the Nutburger likes weapons that take extra feats and don’t work very well. Our example Nutburger will use the Whip, D&D’s red-headed stepchild. You’re never going to find a magical whip in a premade D&D module (with the possible exception being in the hands of some female S&M bondage fantasy villainess)

1. Exotic Weapon Proficiency (Whip), Expertise, Dodge
2. Weapon Focus (Whip)
3. Point-Blank Shot
4. Improved Disarm
5. –
6. Rapid Shot, Mobility
7. –
8. Quickdraw
9. Improved Trip

First Nutburger needs to be able to use the whip without hitting himself in the face (proficient). He’ll be wanting to use the Improved Trip eventually, and is probably going to get picked on by the longsword-addicts out there, so he picks up Expertise and Dodge early.

Weapon Focus lets him hit a little more often, which we can all agree is handy. This way the embarassment of missing won’t be added on top of the existing embarrassment of using a whip outside the context of an Indiana Jones movie (yes, the embarrassment stacks).

Nutburger decides to take advantage of the Whip’s status as a ranged weapon and takes Point Blank Shot. This along with weapon focus gives him a +2 to all his whip attacks, as he cannot exceed the 30 foot range limit on Point Blank Shot with his 10 foot whip.

Finally Nutburger decides at 4th level to flex his whip-wielding muscles by picking up the Improved Disarm feat. By now he’s probably learned that not everything is limited to a 5 foot reach, and attempting disarms against reach opponents can result in a bloodied nose.

At 6th level he continues to milk the Whip’s ranged-weapon status by acquiring the Rapid Shot feat, allowing him an additional attack per round with his beloved length of braided leather. He has also gotten tired of his enemies rushing in and getting attacks of opportunity against him as he flees in terror before their clearly superior weapons. He picks up the Mobility feat to avoid being stabbed in the butt quite so much.

By level 8, Nutburger has swallowed his pride and accepted a +2 Longsword hand-me-down from another fighter in the party, and has to grudgingly admit that it’s handy sometimes to do some real damage. He takes the Quickdraw feat so he can make the transistion quickly to a “real” weapon, and just as quickly swap back to his favorite.

At level 9, he’s about as good with that whip as he’s going to be. There really is no advantage to specialization in a subdual-only weapon. Perhaps this is the time to consider settling down into a more traditional weapon such as a Glaive. He’ll still stand out, and he’s already comfortable with fighting at a 10 foot distance.